Better costume choices for girls. Specifically a Rainbow Dash costume that looks like Rainbow Dash instead of being just a shiny spaghetti strap top and rainbow tulle skirt. I mean where are they supposed to wear that? Somewhere tropical I assume. Had to contract the costume making out to my mother.

Um. Neon skeleton raver ballerina? YES PLEASE, I WILL WEAR THIS.

I think it’s more like, “...listen kid, nothing was left. You’re gonna be banana this year.”

I’m just over here wondering what kid tells their parents, “Mom, Dad, I want to be a banana this Halloween!”

Well, good for Target. It really isn’t difficult to include a variety of people of different sizes, shades, and abilities. That mostly doesn’t happen, though, so good for Target.

Try giving him advice, as if that was the type of conversation you were having. He will get angry. You can act confused. It will be great.

I was just hit by a drunk driver with my 3 week old baby in the car. It was 11:00 am. It was this guys 9th DUI. Looking at this sad man, drunk before noon, I knew that he would never stop drinking.

Congrats on your sobriety. I’m going to mention this story tonight at my AA mtg and give thanks to the program for all those people it has helped.

I do realize and I am sorry everyday of my life for what might have been. I’m glad you called the police.

I know what you mean. It feels like you’re possessed. Congratulations on your sobriety- good work.

No, I was the poster child for a drunk. I went to an in-patient facility for two months and have just been loving the part of my life I got back. That being said, there isn’t a day it doesn't scare me to my core what I could have done.

i’d like to know how she was so drunk at 10:30 in the morning. you know your priorities are fucked up when you are drunk enough to crash your car and kill people at 10:30 in the morning.

I got a DUI in August 2014 and I will say people who drive drunk are assholes and the punishment we get is nowhere close enough to the crime. I wrote a thank you note to the guy who called the police on me. I needed to be anywhere but on the road.

I was watching Neil deGrasse Tyson on the news this morning and they were asking him questions about the hurricane. My admiration for him went up when he said that they should ask a metrologist this questions because he wasn't an expert in this. I liked the fact he was able to admit he wasn't the best person to talk…

You guys...could we be on the verge of having woman in the Oval Office?

As a Bernie supporter, I wanna say, “God dammit!” but I gotta respect her ability to put up with BS for that long. This whole situation has been very strange indeed.

“She was inside the hospital in a climate-controlled area with access to her cellphone, access to the Internet and takeout food from the best restaurants in Newark”

I think a part of any settlement should include a provision for Chris Christie to be quarantined for the remainder of his term.

Furthermore, it is Catholic Dogma that you can’t sell your soul to Satan because a) it denies God’s omnipotence and b) your soul is literally not yours to sell.

Am I the only one who remembers these from the early 00s?