I’ve never tried coke, but you describe exactly my first hand experience with amphetamines.

It’s simple: Trump is psychotic.

I’m all too familiar with this phenomenon. Sometimes, it’s so bad that even my nutsack will shrink up to the point that my testicles have nowhere to go but inside my body. Very unnerving, especially the first time it happened.

Weird. I beat up several groups of white people at the theater. Granted, they were going to see Jumanji but... you know, didn’t want to disappoint the conservative media.

I assume you’re talking about the Tweets with the fake injury pics... I thought it was funny how they were all essentially similar in what they claimed the black people said before assaulting them.

That’s an extra upcharge, like 3D.

Sir Billy Snedden, an Australian politician, died “at the peak of physical congress,” as the police put it. Nearly 20 years later, his son was involved with the same woman, and made sure to notify the public that his father assuredly died happy, saying, “Anyone would be proud to die on the job.”

Agree it doesn’t derail the movie and admit that I look at stuff like that a little too much. Occupational hazard.

Wow. They really are creepy carny small. He could fit one in each nostril.

He had hand reduction surgery so he could pretend his cock was bigger.

Holy shit, you weren’t kidding. I scrolled back up to see, and I wish I hadn’t.

WHY ARE HIS HANDS SO SMALL.

It doesn’t even seem like a tough call, she’s on record at having dated three members of the administration or campaign. This is a point where, if her fellas weren’t such reprehensible villains, I would say that it is kind of normal for a single person, working a high stress, time consuming job in their twenties to…

I mean I don’t like engaging with baseless rumors spread by someone with an obvious axe to grind.

Dang. :(

Frogs just got a little less cool

You know who else liked logic? the Greeks and they were super gay.

I’m assuming these columns are targeted towards either aliens who are wearing people-suits and don’t fully understand our strange earth ways, or people who have never left the house before.

the absolute craziest, most insane gun owners...who are also the ones who are actively defining the NRA’s policies and the political debate on the issue.

Last time I said we need to find a way to stop a nut with a gun—and that’s all I said—I get an email saying, “I’m saving my last bullet to put it right between your eyes.” Just another responsible gun owner in America.