“I guess I have less patience for clickbait filler than most folks.” 

That’s because you can’t run something on a man that can only walk.

well, he’s not gonna get far in that shirt

If this isn't CotD we're burning this place down.

David, have you made an offer on the Jeep, yet?

Considering the number of times ive made the jerking-off hand gesture at my boss while he’s not looking im probably looking at approximately 957,000 years in prison.

Someone doesn’t have a JD power award for best sense of humor

Don’t worry man, he didn’t slam Mopar, you’re safe.

THE SIGN SAYS 55, SO I’M DRIVING 55, JUST LIKE THE SEMI TRUCK NEXT TO ME IN THE RIGHT LANE.

The worst part is that you know this person hangs out in the passing lane, despite that fact that it’s just as much against the law as speeding...

Mandatory: NO SCOPE CORNSHOT

I want a dealer that will either remove (or preferably not install) the dealer badges. I’m spending $X thousands with you, you don’t get free advertising on the back of my car. Also, they look like shit. 

TBH I hated the rain sensing wipers on my Mazda3 (I assume that’s what SadTrombonez meant by “automatic windshield wipers”). They are the most spastic things, and the threshold at which they wipe was always quicker than I liked. Luckily, I can turn it off and use them like normal intermittent wipers. 

I hated the sport mode button in my old Cooper S, don’t get me wrong, I loved the way it drove in sport mode and only drove it in sport mode, but I hated that it had to be toggled on every time and it was a complete snooze fest if I ever forgot to turn it on. Why can’t I leave it on?! Why not make it and Eco mode…

Soggy fries served in paper cups with the presidential seal is probably the most apt metaphor for this presidency. 

That’s what the grappling hook is for. 

David Tracy should sell all eleven of his cars to buy this.

The other three are for parts. 

I always wondered what happened to the robot from Rocky IV.

I WANT! It’s fud-it bucks for a low-mileage convertible Merc.