Next time I see a guy in cargo pants I’m going to force him to build me a house. I mean, walking around looking all probably-owns-a-hammer...what did he think would happen? #CarpenterLookingAssBitch.

I was dating a guy. The first time i went to his apartment, he offered me a bottle of water. He opened this immaculate, perfectly organized fridge: Labels forward, rows like a military cemetery. It was some serious Sleeping With the Enemy looking shit. When he left the room, I checked the pantry. Same thing. It was…

Yeah. :/

Lol no. Ever talked to a dermatologist about the procedure for removing moles? I’ve got one on my neck, up by my ear... in order to have it removed I’d have to have a large chunk of flesh carved out of my neck, leaving a scar bigger and more noticeable than the mole itself, AND I’d get to pay out of pocket for the…