I went to a private high school that had a boarding program. My freshman year they held some fancy golf tournament at one of the fancy golf clubs in the fancy area, and Tiger Woods was playing, so it created a shitstorm of fancy traffic that caused many of the day students to have difficulties getting to the school on…

As long as they can convince Matthew Goode to come back full-time for the last season.

What are these "blank DVDs" of which you speak?

Why, yes! I'm sure their intention was rape, and rape, right there in the public lunch room!

Fucking get it gurl.

Subtly brilliant.

OMG that writing sample detail at the end is the best worst thing I've ever heard.

how is it you can see the screen?

Yeah, me too. And no amount of kegels or Ben Wa balls makes a a lick of difference. :P

Incontinence issues aren't uncommon even in nulliparous women. I think, in general, folks with biologically female plumbing got the short straw. We're more prone to UTIs and bladder infections, plus we often have problems with casually peeing a little over things.

Muhammad Ali..

It holds your bladder in place after your muscles cop out (like after child birth), so you don't accidentally squirt pee every time you chuckle or run.

Nope, you are not crazy. It may be crazy, but I've even asked the man of the house not pee on the floor in the first place. When nagging did not work, I resorted to plan B, above.

This is a story of how one of the worst days of my life ended up reaffirming my faith in strangers and in the human race in general.

Wait, I'm really stunned by this, did you look me up to see if I went to a private school? And that because I didn't go to a private school I didn't have the cred to ask what Ivy kids thought about a school requirement? Walk me through this. I want to know.

What the fuck does it matter that I went to a public university?

i would. i never did anything stupid as a teenager. i also think that most teens aren't the irresponsible narcissists that we make them out to be.

Absolutely horrible idea. The shoddy craftsmanship is also unforgivable.