I hope no woman ever does any of these things to me. I’d be a blubbering, embarassing mess.

Lifetime NPR listener here, and not a Kardashian fan, but the interview was seriously NBD. She was pretty charming, actually. When I read all the comments on NPR’s Facebook page I was pretty appalled. WWDTM has interviews like this all the time with celebrities of the moment.

1. My husband isn’t this stupid, so I wouldn’t have to worry about it if we did do this. But honey, this is where you get up out of that chair and walk away. It’s OK. You didn’t have to put up with it just because you just married him and he’s trashed.

2. We didn’t do any garter- or bouquet-tossing, or cake-smashing…

One pair of Camo Cargo Shorts coming right up!

All of this makes me so sad.

I think I am a very eligible Bachelor, in this country and in this world. I am an enigma and who I am is a gift that you unwrap for life.

Does... does Mrs. Claus know about this?

every movie theater i have been in has trash cans by the exit. one of them even has a little ceiling light exactly above so it’s the most visible thing on the way out. pretty sure they want it to be used.

Leave it in the state you want to enter. Yes, it’s a job to clean up after an event like that. But we shouldn't leave a huge mess on purpose. That's a really nasty thing to do to somebody.

Part of me really wanted Momager to actually smack Psycho Santa with the pizza pan.

How I interpret this...Five Model Figures I Want But Cannot Have.

I’m 95% sure this is just Daniel Day Lewis Prepping for a role.

Girl you gotta shop smart. Don’t be lookin at pinterest and torturing yourself. Stick to brands that are in your price range. There are TONS of amazing dresses for under $1500. And I don’t mean you have to go to David’s Bridal (which, btw, have you looked at their White by Vera Wang line?!) or shop the sales rack at…

Or a croquembouche!

For the brief instant I thought about a “formal” wedding I considered asking my bridesmaids to do this.

Plz join my plucky ragtag team of astronauts* because innovative space thinking like that is what’s going to set feet on the ham planet by 2050.

And you fucking cunts know why is now my standard goodbye to my nearest & dearest.

I always applaud appetizer-based diplomacy.

Part of me wants to go to that class, but I know I'd just scare Richard Simmons by fangirling.

Nothing can kill the Grimace.