Don’t worry, I’ve got Nevermind on CD in decent condition, and will allow Universal to burn a copy for the low price of $1 million.

“The best movie you[’ll] see this year!”

I would say, if you are part of a team that had 13 goals scored against it, there is perhaps a hard upper limit on the amount of respect you are due?

I hope the USWNT uses all this finger-wagging as motivational fuel to shove 15 goals up Canada’s ass in the tournament, assuming Canada is able to make it that far.

This comment has aged well.

I think the waterfalls have to do with the cover of the William Carlos Willams book with which this movie shares a name—most versions have a picture of the waterfalls Driver sits down in front of.

No, but toxic masculinity might have something to do with, for example, failing to read the strategic explanation for running up the score, and then just assuming there was no such explanation because you are a man who knows sports better than those silly women:

The only way the username-comment synergy could be any better here is if the username was “Rotten Fruit from a Shitty Tree Who Doesn’t Understand the Role Goal Differential Plays in Tournament Round Seeding.”

What I’m getting from this is that Reeves wears the black-on-black-on-black John Wick 3-piece suit around in his everyday life, which would be super tryhard-seeming coming from anyone but him.

Oh my god, the U.S. had a .333 shooting percentage. They were making goals at a higher rate than Lebron James makes 3-pointers.

I don’t think “color guy” is considered politically correct these days.

If I see a covered bridge, I am staying the hell away. That’s how the couple in Beetlejuice died.

Only about 600 miles. He often drives that long in a single workday.

So wait, where are the bus, sword, and media in relation to each other in this metaphor? Is there the possibility of Myers, having fallen on the sword, staggering into the street and getting hit by the bus as well, causing the sword to puncture a tire? And if so, what does that mean for the Warriors’ chances of…

The Raptors blue themselves prematurely, and now they have quite the mess on their hands.

On the contrary—getting an injury that may have lowered his ceiling and altered the trajectory of his career from this point forward is the one thing Kevin Durant needed to absolutely ensure the Knicks would sign him to a max contract.

I think the main difference is, Lee got better (and was generally better to begin with, that cover nonwithstanding). All the visual tics that feel “off” in that cover are more associated with Liefeld than Lee for me. Perhaps that’s an unfair prejudice on my part, though.

I want to see Riot at Xavier’s, if just for the line, “Dozens of injuries. One student has been killed. Another missing, presumed evaporated.”

I never understood this complaint. Isn’t Spider-Man constantly being portrayed as a threat by the Daily Bugle? Hasn’t practically every comic (and every movie adaptation) shown New Yorkers as sharply divided in their opinions regarding him?

That Crossroads cover totally looks like a Liefeld production—notice Rogue’s back-breaking pose, Magneto’s weirdly wide chest, Nick Fury’s pouches and his gun that looks like the artist started drawing the barrel and forgot to stop, being held by a hand bigger than Fury’s head, and of course, the fact that every…