You did the Lords work here today (and I’m not even religious). Thank you for your service to womankind.

I think hecklers of female comics specifically assume that they’re voicing the popular consensus when they objectify and demean women and therefore expect success and approval. They think the woman on stage is the joke and everyone’s in on it, along with them, so they go into in with the idea that the public - and the…

He paid. She got paid. How much doesn't matter - the idiot spent his money to see her and she got to kick his pissant ass out.

Jimmy Carr has a similar one: “I don’t come to your work and knock the sailors’ cocks out of your mouth!”

I think my favorite bit was “Calling out a heckler is just like racism!”

You realize your defense of her is exactly the same as when neckbeards’ defended Dane Cook for doing the same?

She handled that just fine.

“I was about to leave anyway”

That sort of response/logic has always been my favorite; it doesn’t make you look better (it makes you look worse), and if you’re trying to get something from someone, gives you even less than the zero % chance you had before. That’s not even masculinity, that’s low self-esteem asshole bullshit, right there.

I don’t recall ever getting yelled at to flash my tits when I was a teenager, but I did get accused by a guy of having gotten implants because I started wearing clothes that fit (and stopped hiding my rather large rack) in 8th grade. I made A SCENE about how gross he was and was about to tip his desk when the teacher…

This is such a boring heckle. I do a family type show and I don’t even deal with this one anymore. I stop what I’m doing, drop my character (which is sort of sweet and charming) turn my mic away from my face, go right up to the dude with an icy stare and say “Get out. Just. Go. Right now. Bye” I don’t banter, I don’t…

This was so satisfying to watch. Like seeing that jerk driver getting pulled over by the cops kind of satisfying.

See also: “Hey baby, wanna suck my dick?” / “Fuck off.” / “Screw you, you’re fat and ugly anyway! And you’re frigid! And probably a lesbian!”

Thankfully, during the 4/5 years I performed stand up, I was too fat for these sort of comments but good lord did I love a heckler. I mean I hated them but the takedown was always so sweet. I performed with a guitar and at one rowdy gig in Liverpool I just sung ‘shut your fucking mouth’ on repeat for about a minute in…

That is beautiful.

I once witnessed someone heckle George Carlin, and to see him eviscerate the moron was a special moment in Getting Fucking Owned History.

Tip to “hecklers”: You will never win with a comedian. Never. They have the mic, you don’t. They can outshout you, out-funny you (“You can say “show us your tits” to the people in the parking log” is sweet) and, finally, have you thrown out. And “show us your tits”? That line isn’t even funny at a strip club. And…

Oh, he was just leaving so she really didn’t chuck him out.

The pathology of people who crave negative attention is cancer on every continent.

“I was going to leave anyway,” says the guy in the very expensive seats who felt the need to ruin the show for everyone else.