It’s the thought of the textures that’s really getting to me... ugh

The correct response is horrified. I was going to say, stupidity of the customer aside (and I agree they were stupid), the proper answer to “what is pineapple guacamole” is “it’s an abomination against the laws of man and nature and should not exist, I don’t recommend it.”

Even the “Does it have avocado in it?” question is pretty reasonable with how much people bastardize guacamole.

i’m in a guacamole purism phase right now, and just made a bunch yesterday. 4 ingredients: avocado, fresh minced garlic, juice of a fresh lime, sea salt. even the last of the year’s tomatoes sitting on the counter next to me could not but tempt me.

Actually that makes me mad... It’s bad enough how criminally overpriced guac can be but when they give you a finger food portion I want to start hitting things.

Yeah, that sounds like the answer to the question, “what’s the best way to ruin guacamole?”

Agreed. This sounds like some kind of new age bastardization. Keep your sugary bullshit away from my guac.

OK after the peas in guacamole debacle, I’m not sure if I am horrified or intrigued by “It has fresh pineapple and peppers and a Chipotle honey sauce drizzled over our homemade guac.”