You could have just stopped at the first comma and we all would have sincerely and fulsomely applauded. The rest was just gravy.

I dunno, some of these guys are self-evidently damaged goods long before they even first meet a recruiter. The coddling and excuse-making extend way back into high school for them, seeing as they can run fast and throw a ball real good.

Sorry, I didn’t like the first 2 installments in the Ready Player One trilogy: Scott Pilgrim and Sucker Punch.

I like winter for the reason that, from time to time, the wife climbs into bed and proclaims that I must fuck her lest she die from the cold. It’s nice to know that women (well, one woman) view me as a winter-survival device.

I think in a fit of rage I’ve called someone a shipyard pumpkinhead.

But I love decline!

Lick my dewy tulips.

I prefer ‘erotically correct’. Even though I admit not knowing what that actually means.

Should’ve added: I also propose Martin Shkreli’s be pillaged for his usable organs. While still alive, that is.

“A party to be held on a remote deserted island, from which there will be no escape! All robots hipsters must attend!!”

Me, I’m disappointed that the festival fell apart before fully entering into genre-film territory. Either:

“Be eaten alive by savages” would kind of be the ironically correct final ending to this, wouldn’t it?

Wouldn’t it be a greater sign of ignominy NOT to be allowed to enter into bankruptcy? Bankruptcy being, just so we’re all clear, a kind of legal protection where you make the case—and the court agrees—that you don’t have enough money to fully pay your creditors and so you enter into negotiations to pay some people…

Is there some sort of ettiquette for pointing out how essentially dishonorable the sexual behavior of college or pro athlete are? ‘Cause I once vaguely alluded to the fact that maybe a college shouldn’t be recruiting, say, a 17-year old with 4 kids by 3 women and was SCREAMED AT in the comments for being ‘racist.’…

Misogyny doesn’t actually matter.

You’re Never Weird on the Internet

You’re Never Weird on the Internet

I know someone who was in a grad students’ knitting club. They were getting their physics PhD, everyone else was in humanities. They got a *lot* more socks and sweaters finished since they could just set their instruments and then record the time-points every hour or so whereas the chumps in English and history had to…

Keyser Soze made it up.

I joked that if you locked someone in a windowless, soundproof room for several months and their only source for information about the outside world was printed-out stories from The Onion slipped under the door, they would be objectively better-informed about the world than many people on the outside.

Is there a chance the track could bend?