My grandmother & her sisters were named Virginia, Tennessee and Georgia. They were born in a log cabin in the Ozarks. No, this is not a Jeff Foxworthy joke.

$10 for a jar of marinara? Must be nice being part of the 1%

Ok, I know that this shouldn’t be funny and I shouldn’t be laughing at this, but the absolute absurdity of bouncing the ball off the defenders forehead is delightful to me. Who the fuck does that? The expression on Anderson’s face in the slo-mo replay is priceless. Happy birthday to me.

If I were the coaches out there, I would have signaled for a review after the super long review.

I’m 100% sure that this headline will happen: “Watch Zion Dunk The Dick Off A Basketball”.

What a byzantine way of saying the rookie is going to have a lot of powerful dunks this season.

Cards fans only respect bat flips in October because they know it’s deer season.

I fully expect multiple Deadspin headlines this year that feature some combination of the words “Zion” “slam” and “to hell.”

Good Lord.

Watching these nominally capitalist sociopaths defend the CCP like tankies on twitter is downright hilarious to me, and it proves that these ideology-free stooges are only interested in protecting their own sinecures. Kim Jong Un is wasting his money on a nuclear program; if he directed those funds towards an NFL…

It’s too bad LeBatard is on vacation.

Someone knows where their crab rangoon is coming from.

Listen, all I am going to say is this...

I wonder if SAS also support Lebron to “shut up and dribble”?

Stephen A. Smith telling people not to be childish is like having Donald Trump tell people that lying is wrong. 

Not many people know this, but Stephen A. is huge in China, but there his name is roughly translated as “Yelling Angry-Face Man”

STOP ANGLING FOR FREE P.F. CHANGS STEPHEN A!!!

What is the point of having fuck-you-money if you’re never going to say it?

Serious question: is there any issue on which SAS takes anything other than the shittiest position possible? Is there some issue somewhere that a reasonable, decent person could listen to him shout about and think “huh, you know what, he’s right about that and I agree with him?”

Does this guy get paid by the syllable?