I’m successfully well off. I own a home. I make enough that budgeting is easy. I also recognize that I live in a society, and that society helped me get where I am. Schools, roads, health care, law enforcement, unemployment insurance, etc. And since I belong to that society, I am comfortable paying into the system a…

Dolphins are known for their blowholes...

Yeah, Weekend Motorsports Roundup really should just be the headline.

Not sure. I hardly visit Jalopnik anymore since the last format change. Plus they never put “Weekend Motorsports Round in the titles anymore so they usually get lost amongst the other Jalopnik articles.

You’d think of all teams, the Saints would’ve had the Miracle kicker after their all their laterals.

Actually, a cigarette doesn’t burn hot enough to ignite gasoline, this isn’t a movie. You can put a cigarette out by tossing it in a bucket of the stuff, yes, I’ve done it. I highly recommend not flicking your lighter around fumes, however.

Calm down ladies. Smile at the blatant sexism and belittlement, it’s all in good fun. It’s not like you’re flags or an anthem, you’re females.

Hey, Cam, remember how you feel when people ask if a black QB can learn the intricacies of an NFL offense?

When is there going to be a Fit Si? Because there totally should be a Fit Si...detuned 1.6 T with like 180 hp. Make it happen, Honda. Now that the FiST is dead in America, this would be an excellent replacement.

Too bad about those awful wheels. They look like a Tire Rack special.

I know they usually see Dr. James Andrews for difficult injuries, but in this case I recommend Dr. Al Green.

The helmet bulged and flexed in slow motion. It’s one thing to see a baseball do that when it’s smacked, but it’s terrifying to see protective headgear do it.

Sorry coach, got other priorities....Aerosmith tickets.

+1 chasin’ the muff around

Isn’t this the plot of Dazed and Confused?

And “Parkway Panthers” was staring me right in the face...

Because of motherfucking course it would be from here. The only thing that surprises me is that it’s considered newsworthy on a national level, because I know this shit is just par for the course in these parts. Jesus Christ...this is considered porn by most PHS parents, I’m guessing.

Principal preemptively prohibits pupil’s participation in peacful protest to protect preposterous “Patriotic” principles; proclamation problematic per precedent. Probability principal is proficient to parse particulars is poor.