Product placement: Hooters, Dick's, Dr. Scholls, Visa.....

If everybody's going to mindlessly attack her, shouldn't at least one person mindlessly defend her?

"Da size ofa tan-gerine. "

It's obviously caused by the despicable rape-culture of white male privilege.

"It's not a pyramid scheme, it's a reverse funnel system."

Except that would have meant more screen time for Gwyneth Paltrow, which would have forced me to track down the individual responsible for casting her, and give them the many reasons why that sour-faced twig should never have played Pepper Potts.

His name's actually... Oh, wait, I see what you did there.

It's almost like there's a direct correlation between experiencing live events by recording them on your phone, and being a fucking idiot.

LOL! OMG!

Oh nobody that import, just billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne.

Gotham, the only city where billionaire playboys take dates to the goddamn circus.

Obviously, but can you explain why all those studies were conducted by the voices in my head?

And I'm sure you also hate inner-city children because they're statistically more likely to be involved in violent crime.

Jesus fucking Christ.

"Do you have kids Mr. Rothstein?"

Well I've certainly stuck a bee in you bonnet haven't I? But don't worry, I'm not angry, I just feel sorry for you.

Just keep making excuses while black children are slaughtering each other.

"I can't WAIT to see your next comment thread."