Plenty of New York bartenders know how to pour a proper pour of Guinness. 

GTFO with your drink-shaming, ya lightweight!

I LOVE and support any restaurant that rains down the mighty death scowl upon anyone who whips out a phone during their meal.

I never understood people who use the drive-thru until I had a kid. Then I get it- it’s a massive pain to bring kids into the restaurant. But without kids? Is walking 20 feet that much of a chore that you’d rather wait behind 5 cars?

Not to mention the dozens and dozens of happily married women throughout history.

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh I forgot:

I feel that way about “small batch”.  The phrase has no meaning.  They use it because they want you to think of something being made in a home kitchen instead of a smaller-than-the-competition’s factory.

And “sammies.” Basically, if Rachael Ray says it reguarly, it makes my skin crawl. Her cutesy baby language makes me want to kill shit.

Farm-to-table.

I maintain that anyone who claims to have a problem with the word moist, only does because they know someone else who claims to.

I’m going to put in a vote for “chef-driven.” Don’t pretty much all non-chain restaurants let the chef design the menu? Isn’t that pretty much the chef’s job?

Come sit next to me. My ma shushed me last week when I said somebody died. “Say they passed on,” she hissed at me. C’mon ma. He’s dead. We weren’t at the funeral. We weren’t around his friends or family. That guy died. 

Chai tea actually drives me nuts. Chai IS tea, in several languages (“chay” in Ukrainian), and what we call “chai” is masala chai. So we’re saying “tea tea” when we order chai tea and it’s like nails on a chalkboard.

Foodie

‘Yum’ and all of its derivatives are at the top of my list and in my opinion should be dropped from a person’s vocabulary at the age of about 12. Every time I hear an adult use any of them, it suggests to me a weird (possibly subconscious) desire to express oneself as though a child, which isn’t a quality I…

“Marinate.” But only because I dated a girl in college who had a disgusting roommate who would always talk about how she needed to change into her pajamas because she’d been “marinating in these panties all day.”

Top Pot in Seattle does this and I don’t have the heart to tell them they’re not as good as the Dunkin’ Donuts at Back Bay Station in Boston.

The grotesque overuse of the word “umami” drives me up a wall. One, because we’ve already got a word in English for it—savory—so stop treating your discovery of MSG like you just got back from the New World with Christopher Columbus, and two, because the word is freaking everywhere these days.