“I wish I *were* a writer”

No, wait, the strictly ultra orthodox (the ones in the black hats with the fur etc) tend to be anti-zionist, who don’t believe the state of Israel should exist as it currently does. They think Israel existing as a largely secular state is stopping the Moshiach from returning. The men don’t serve in the army or work,…

The Yankees and Red Sox have a ton of shithead fans that don’t live near or have anything to do with their respective cities.

Haven’t you heard? Small market teams exist solely as regular season filler and are expected to tastefully bow out when playoff season rolls around. They should simply be grateful they exist at all, let alone do anything crazy like win.

I think you have this confused. She’s clearly in fear of her life, as someone with a skin tone darker than mocha is yelling. The struggle is real.

Unfortunately, the part of basketball he forgot was “how to win basketball games without having the best players on your team”.

Prediction: This show will still be on in 20 years still as “The Simpsons” but it will just be a yellow-people cartoon show.

I think she meant Valerine Bertnernie.

If you have finished in the top 3 of the MVP voting for three years in a row, you don’t change anything. You don’t change your stance, you don’t change your underwear, and you sure as hell don’t cut your hair.

I pray that Constandino beats the shit out of everyone else.

Upon learning you can make outs by hitting players with batted balls, Yordano Ventura has demanded to DH in between starts.

I hope its not because you can’t reconcile your childhood with his adulthood.

Kawhi Leonard comes back with a vengeance, Clips get tight at home and can’t buy a jumper, Spurs bench outscores Clips bench by 30. Spurs win by double digits.

They thought Yordano Ventura was pitching tonight.

Morrison won the Nobel Prize in Literature... not the Peace Prize.

OK, simple answer before you go back under the bridge: Go watch “Friday Night Lights.”

Talent which requires a huge amount of resources to even get into. How many 16yo kids get to drive $100k+ purpose built race vehicles?

The only thing remarkable here is the resources that she has been allowed to access. If the majority of 16 year olds had access to these resources, there would be absolutely nothing special about this.

No competent usher would ever let someone take their seat in the middle of a pitch. At Nats Park they have literal stop signs that prevent anyone from trying to take their seat while the ball is in play.

“Oh no! The Celtics’ ‘A’ game!” (the sound of a wet firework malfunctioning)