4. Nancy Kerrigan. Just seven weeks after getting kneecapped by Tonya Harding’s goons, Kerrigan went out and skated her off in Norway on one knee, only to get a silver medal for it. Silver! FUCK YOU, JUDGES. I didn’t see Oksana Baiul skating out there with half her LCL missing. NANCY WAS ROBBED. I want medals for her…

Oh yeah? In American, our newspaper writers used to be literate.

I really want it to be 1., but given the accompanying pictures, I have to assume it’s 2. or 3.

Your owner looks like Ron Jeremy:

Fake news...the Cowboys are fuck ups, so the only way they could fuck everything up would be to not fuck up for once, but clearly they are fucking up, so everything is normal and thus not fucked up.

I went to look up Joe Flacco’s back injury (because I don’t keep track of non-elite QBs), but apparently your take isn’t as hot as it could be:

HAHAHAH! This is amazing.

So which ‘law’ has primacy? Godwin’s Law or Convefe’s Law? Or are they basically the same thing?

I’m all about making the game safer, but as a defensive player, I’m not a big fan of it

Wouldn’t that be true for anything? “If you talk for long enough, eventually you’ll talk about elephants.”

Translation: I’m getting too old for this rebuilding shit

Oops. Yeah typo, but I guess it still works.

Wow, so basically the NFL has a distract attorney on call in all 50 states?

The NFL only guaranteed the first year of its commitment to domestic violence caring.

Is Kurt Russell in this one too?

Does anyone actually scroll slowly enough that the NSFW tag would’ve been an effective deterrent?

No. It was yellow, not green, but the issue isn’t the fire, it’s the hurling of it.

My question is why not buy tickets and just make your own tour? It’s not like you have to deal with much of a crowd.