Or Orange Julius Caesar.

Perhaps he could ask them to hold inquiry into why no one gave a shit about Barb.

No, but Melania has. (so has Marla and whoever his first wife was)

Or one in water sports.

Pretty risky move there ESPN - assuming he'll still be president in March.

Well, the GOP are being harangued by a pissed-on man-child.

Thanks Oprah!

Look, if you're dumb enough to order from Pizza Hut or Papa Johns, you got what you deserve.

Yeah, I'm just wondering what the news is here, cause my 4th grader could own Piers Morgan - of course JK can do it.

Well, you knew Red Dawn wasn't reality, cause who would leave Lea Thompson SPOILERS - to blow herself up.

What about all the money he earned under his alias, Jack White.

Too many times Prince Albert reminded me of Prince with that hair hanging down over his eye and the costumes.

Ylvis' hit should have taken care of that misconception.

Hogan's Heroes teaches us that they, in fact, know nothing.

Are you saying internet Nazis are too chickenshit to use their real names? I always thought they were very proud of their ignorance.

But it has Obi-Wan in it.

If you keep joking about running the PEOTUS off a bridge, the secret service may pay you a visit.

We also get updates from the president-elect

CW McCall taught me that in his classic hit "Convoy"

You would've thought orange juice futures would have taught them a lesson.