Actually we know what they believe thanks to South Park. And its exactly what a hack scifi writer would come up with.

Apparently, Mr. Kotter taught Washington, Horshack and Epstein better.

"$cientology preys on the vulnerable because they are easy marks. They look for celebrities who haven't been to college, single mothers with children, people battling addiction, etc. The ones who can keep paying for "courses" end up being slave labor to the ones who can."

I'm sure Johnny told them to fuck off and then played a mean slide guitar lick.

Based on the incoherent ramblings of a third rate scifi writer and megalomaniac.

It's call it the Whedoning of audiences.

Wasn't that "Aquarius"?

Yeah, but with with a bunch of armed toothless hillbillies ready to shoot anybody with over an 8th grade education.

Great Lakes brewpub too - but other than that as another former resident - correct.

He was also really good in the first season of "Murder in the First".

Everyone knows it's all been downhill since Bing Crosby and David Bowie sang The Little Drummer Boy together.

I'm assuming you're talking about Frank.

"I'm a lumberjack and I don't care"

Perhaps they could call it Jackass Presents: Bad Grampa. Perfectly encapsulates both Dubya and Dick.

Let us navigate over to 538 and see what they say.

Well, it's quite apparent that around 61 million can't tell the difference. Jury is out on the rest.

Oh, they will never be silenced….

At least it's not Amanda-era Boston.

Guy Fieri has kids?

Caroline in the City?