Not only are Superman's parents (and nearly entire race) dead, he's also a super-genius.

You mean 10,000 BC?

That's not how a terrible script works, that's how a hilariously campy script works!

Actual quote from the film:

Oh yeah, doesn't he order the web shooter cartridges from Oscorp over the internet?

The first one's still my favorite. I like 2, but I couldn't quite buy into Doc Ock's characterization, and felt like Pete overexposed his identity. Never saw 3.

That does sound right. Good call!

I'm fine with bland, repetitive corporate product, as long as it's competently made.

I know taste is subjective and all, but… I mean… seriously? That scene worked for you? Two minutes of stuttering, then a poorly filmed, sillier version of the warehouse dance from Footloose? For me, it was cringe-inducing at a level approaching Twilight.

Yeah, except… do sit through the credits, because a lot of people contributed hard work to this flick!

It wasn't a sequel or a reboot of an already enormously popular recent film franchise. They won't make that mistake again!

Willem's suit looked stupid, but didn't you think he played the character well?

It began with Cowboys & Aliens. I'm kind of surprised it didn't end there.

Doesn't there need to be some other villain for Peter to fight when he first wears the symbiote suit?

I heard he actually got injured doing stunts. I mean, not Broadway-Spider-Man-injured, but still.

Preferably in a role where he seems like a nerd/superhero, not a Tourette-sufferer/asshole.

Isn't "Ann Coulter" mostly an exaggerated persona, making herself a fictional villain?

You'd think seeing Amazing Spider-Man would have the same effect here, but bafflingly, some people seem to have liked it.

Let's compromise: send spiders to Mars.

I'd like a hero that actually does something.