I’m trying to drop in a “you may find yourself” joke in here somewhere but need more coffee

When I was a wee child I overheard my mom and sister talking about how Mariah might be pregnant and I told them “Oh she can’t be pregnant, she’s not married. You have to be married to get pregnant.”

I thought she was doing some Madonna-meets-Marilyn Manson thing, myself.

Because I do not find it at all difficult to believe that Fred Armisen is indeed a sociopath, I find myself constantly questioning the various people who work with him. I know people probably just work with him because he’s funny and talented, but I can’t help wondering what goes on behind the scenes. Is everyone just…

As a fan you should probably already know that Armisen is a well-established dick.

Always the Tiffany, never the Ivanka, eh Chris?

People keep saying Orlando is dressed as Trump and he’s clearly Bill. I have been getting really irritated about this all morning. 

Finally, the tide is turning.

If there were no abortion protestors, the only thing children would see are women and men walking into and out of a building.

Thank goodness. A small step in protecting the health of Alabama women. Really wish stupid shit like this wouldn’t tie up the legislative and court systems of our states but I guess there is nothing else to do, huh?

Michelle Obama is basically a real world Tami Taylor. I just want her to give me life advice, inspire me to do better, and have a glass of wine with me a few times a week.

“Wigged plate of moldy haggis” an insult to haggis

“Anyone capable of getting themselves elected President, should, on no account, be allowed to do the job” - Douglas Noel Adams.

But like, can she just give everyone a pep talk every morning telling us we are great and that everything is going to be okay?

Poisoned candy/tylenol kills innocent people = a permanently changed nation

Really? Because I was once in line at Whataburger and BILLY ZANE was ahead of me and turned around and flashed a that big ol’ Billy Zane smile and said “her lunch is on me” and so I ordered extra cheese AND jalapenos, god damnit. Billy Zane is okay in my book.

People keep talking about the split with in the Republican party in terms of politicians and voters. I don’t think there’s been a lot of conversation about the split Trump has created among Conservative pundits and talking heads. Personally, I see no reason to believe that Trump supporters are just going to come…

And have an even bigger pulpit to attack brown, black, Muslim or gay people. I hope they can her and give her a taste of the anger real feminists feel.

I can’t imagine she wants to jump to some silly daytime show. I’m certain she’s got her eye on an anchor’s chair at some point.