I feel like America is in desperate need of a revolution, or a costumed vigilante, or just something!

Why?

Same people. Same jokes. Same situations. I think I’m finally over it.

A hot, percolated, wet, dirty martini is truly one of life’s greatest pleasures.

Will it pipe POTATOPOTATOPOTATOPOTATO through a subwoofer?

For safety, you know.

wust-eh-CHESTer-bobble

C) Eat your own arm, sell book rights, go mad, eat surviving child later because you “got peckish,” sell movie rights.

*And Bronski Beat.

Only one. And there’s a list, and forms to fill out. And you can’t have one.

This is not a grand staircase. This is a stumpy attempt at a grand staircase that someone saw in movie once.

Reborn Electric Microbus is my eight-piece all-ukulele King Crimson cover band.

god dammit <shakes tiny fist>

MURRRRRRRPH

Mindy Hammond told the Sunday Express she was “pretty convinced we must have been gassed or something,” she later continued by saying “You have got to have some kind of confidence to do that and to be quite satisfied that people aren’t going to wake up.”

That’s a scruffy-looking boat.

nobody?

1. Never leave the house.

This is grandson-gets-power-in-grandma’s-name level stupid.