If you're Sevillan on the pitch, what are you on the bench?

Deadlines.

What kind of second rate sports site would pay for a picture of a naked athlete?

The answer to 'could college team beat awful pro team' is not going to change no matter how many times people ask.

How many times have you seen some terrible QB like Mark Sanchez attempt to throw the ball away, only to have it not go far enough, and then get intercepted?

My CAT 4 career experience tells me this is intentional. Dude should expect me to beat him with my pump.

Obligatory:

REALLY hope she's okay. With that said, and having been a professional road cyclist for almost 1 decade, the rider does have some responsibility here to ride clear of the fans and the barriers. Many high-profile crashes have been caused by fans and/or barriers.

Loren Rowney takes up half the road on your commute? That's interesting.

I think there's a level of douchebaggery and beyond-beyond-reasonable-doubt where beatings should be in play as legal punishment. Because this person needs beatings.

They're not though, because they're not the ones you have to plan every meal around to be boring as fuck.

Picky eaters of any age are annoying as shit and need to get it together. Adults who are picky eaters can fuck right off. The number of times I've heard someone exclaim "I don't like seafood" or "I just don't like vegetables" as if salmon and shrimp or avocado and carrots are even remotely comparable is astounding.

the baby is me & the glorious dancing apes were those sentences

I realize I have the luxury of living in New York City, where there are reliable delivery services that'll come to your house in the agreed-upon time frame, unlike, say, the cable company.

If you're staying at a nice hotel, tip the ever loving shit out of the guy doing valet parking, and ask him.

Remember before the Internet when people just fucking proposed with a goddamn ring in a champagne glass/piece of chocolate cake/etc.?

I didn't notice the black flashes until the end and then only noticed the bicycle, which I thought was a motorcycle when the video started. I was actually distracted by my disbelief that that thing has 17 inch wheels.

Nothing about that was a "real NBA fight" or even a "tackle."

I just use this:

The definition of hard-hitting news.