I promise to be a great 3rd owner of a Focus RS

"So that's the way it is in their family."

That's so sweet

Reminder: this man is 27. J.R. Smith looks 14 in comparison.

J.R. Smith: You trying to get the pipe?

REALLY not seeing what the big deal is. It's not like there's a shortage of Bengals imprisoned in Ohio.

There are people who think masturbation in a relationship constitutes cheating. Most of us refer to those people as "complete fucking lunatics."

You just broke the comment euphemism density record.

OMG what the hell is that??

Is there room for one more in your relationship?? You guys sound AWESOME.

Typically I just yell "Last one to finish does the dishes" and make it a race.

This story involves a shit I actually witnessed, versus one I took.

Don't shit on this post. It's fantastic.

Depends on the situation. If someone is providing the food and beverages, the least you can do is bring over a six-pack or bag of chips or something for yourself. I should also mention that he BEGGED my wife to have us host the poker night so, if you basically invite yourself, you absolutely should bring something.

If you are in your 30s or older you should be able to talk about some sports, some movies, some music, some food, some books, some popular culture and some current events, even if you don't have a huge interest in any of them. You don't have to be an expert, but you have to have a few favorite films and books, know…

Can someone try all these out for me?

1. Smoke

Well, it's better than a homing turtle shell when you're leading all the traffic.

In the event of a fire, there's supposed to be a drill captain on every floor who makes sure everyone has evacuated the building

You probably need a hobby.