"Alex from Chicago, you're on line one. And keep it moving. There are people behind you who have to sign up for unemployment, too."

I will forever hate Joakim Noah for this

Thankfully, my diagnosis came at the Ohio State Student Health Center. The downside is, they describe everything in B1G terms. "Your prostate is supposed to be the size of a large buckeye, but it is unfortunately closer to the balled up paw of a nittany lion. You're lucky we caught it before it grew to the size of a…

Well, I for one applaud the NFL for finally taking a clear, aggressive, no-nonsense stand against bad PR. It is clear that the league will no longer tolerate actions by players that cause sponsors to threaten cutting business ties. Children, wives, and girlfriends of NFL players can exhale and rest easy tonight,…

While an adult may have a number of options when confronted with abuse – to flee, to fight back, or to seek help from law enforcement

this is one of those regattas where everyone gets a medal, right?

Again, Welker was out performed by someone younger.

Sortland had a blanket, a cell phone and a box of Wheat Thins with him.

I'm embarrassed for this guy. I mean, nothing is worse than a basketball jersey on a grown man.

From his position in the stands you can see the Skyline.

Now is a good time remind everyone that Dalton signed a 6-year $115 million deal this offseason.

He's fulfilling her Catholic schoolboy fetish.

The beats audio ad with LeBron really freaks me out.

that fat dog is also a stupid dog. it could conserve precious calories by relaxing its forelimps and sliding its big fat body across the floor like a fat wheelbarrow made of fat.

A friend I trust sent this fat dog to me.

Pilsner Urquell is delicious and comes in a green bottle. But yeah, 99% of green bottle beer is shit.

Even simpler "Any beer in a green bottle."

The cool thing is, this also works as a Phish setlist.