The same distance from New York to Providence. Your joke is reaching that far.

What’s it’s porpoise in life? 

I have no dog in this fight, but it looked dirty to me.

I never went under my desk in the 80's. I was K-8 1980 to 1989. I had 2 Minute Man silos within a 10 mile radius of my house.

What’s a Dick 4?

This is the best reporting I’ve seen on Deadspin in a long time.

Stan Kronke ruins every sports team he owns.

Bob Uecker in Major League.

The Cardinals Won Their 1st Game

Or...they could be in first with a walk-off in the bottom of the 9th.

I would no longer be friends with someone dumb enough to fall for a pyramid scheme.

I guess I’m silly for flying Southwest from St. Louis to Boston all the time?

Lies!

Yeah, you know me!

You teach him to grab chicks by the pussy, right?

I don’t stalk Gizmodo 24/7, but...

Yeah, chastise a person for trying to help his fellow (wo)man. Thanks!

Yeah, chastise a person for trying to help his fellow (wo)man. Thanks!

Are you kidding? Everyone wanted Mike Anderson to stay! We were mad he left!

Thinking your smarter than someone because you disagree with them about an opinion makes you the idiot (factually).

You think they’re evil? Because you disagree with them? But you’re overtly tolerant?