I am a Detroit Lions fan, and I know for a fact that the Lions will never win a Super Bowl ever. If every team in the NFL but the Lions had a Super Bowl title, I'd still pick the Lions to finish last. I'm a fan of the worst team in North American sports. Lions have won 1 fucking playoff game in 58 years. That's less…

You don’t even understand that burrito bowls are better how am I supposed to trust your sports takes now

The graphic maker died of dysentery on the way, I understand the oversight.

Schilling deserves his own category.

Bullshit Ley. Just bullshit.

Kessel got what he deserved as well.

So Ben Roethlisberger didn’t explicitly say no, and Donald Trump took that as a yes? Interesting…

I’d rather hear Johnny Manziel speak at the Libertine Party Convention.

I wonder if they will give Roethlisberger a pass on going into women’s restrooms to rape the shit out of them. Or does that only apply in Georgia.

A racist, a cheater, a misogynist, and a douchebag walks into a bar. Bartender says, “Sorry, Mr. Trump, we’re closed.”

Once you get to the ballpark, you get to have one of the great baseball backdrops in the country. To hell with Camden Yards and the Warehouse. PNC Park and the Clemente Bridge? Go fuck yourselves. Dodger Stadium and the hills behind it? Eat a bag of dicks. SunTrust Park has... an Omni Hotel and a Comcast office…

Cobb County’s non-namesake, Ty, would be proud of the last sentence.

Just let all the rec-league softball teams that used to use the parks, play instead at the new stadium. Braves fans would appreciate the upgrade in the quality of play actually.

Let me tell you something about the Cleveland Cavaliers: Fuck the Cleveland Cavaliers.

Cutting the cheese is part of the bathroom experience.

We aren’t and we don’t need to be. A lot of people have some form of cognitive disability. They’re still responsible for their actions so far as they’re able to understand them. If someone’s functioning at a level where he’s able to carry out a plan to threaten to cut someone else with a knife unless she allows him to…

I'm going to be so sad when you can go to a bus station and not get accosted by a stubbled man who just needs to tell you the truth about JFK. A few months ago I sat through half an hour of how George HW Bush was a deep cover CIA agent at the time, orchestrated the whole thing, but you know what else? The CIA was also…

I bet Kennedy saw Jeets do a fully sick kick flip off a bitch's tits and his head exploded in amazement.