Wizards are going to have to declare a national emergency to pay his contract.

Word out of Washington is that their plan was always to have him be John Steel Slats anyway.

I hope he gets traded to the Bulls. Why? It’s cold, it’s a long way from LA, the team is a dumpster fire, and trading him to the T-wolves wouldn’t get him coached by Thibs anymore.

Uh, racist.

The last thing LaVar Ball needs is to be around more Suns that don’t play basketball well.

honestly the best part of the past two days as an nba fan has been seeing all the Knicks fans who booed the EVERLOVING SHIT out of kp at the draft now swearing off the franchise for trading him

It may seem like Kyrie is contradicting himself but it’s like the old saying goes, “There’s two sides to every planet.”

I am no longer able to parse whether these comments are genuine or sarcastic. I enjoy this.

You NAILED him.

Gronk: “Six of nine?! Nice!”

*Goes up for a leaping high five*

*Injures leg*

Whereas a rando homer signing up for a burner account just to make it clear to everyone that he’s completely missed the joke is extremely original and cool.

Another hot Karl, I see.

Born in New Jersey, only spent a brief amount of time in Montréal.  He’s yours, you keep him.

Thank you, NBC for taking Pierre Mcguire off our hands.

I didn’t think it was possible for my mind to throw up on itself, but I was apparently mistaken. 

Can we get Savannah Guthrie to interview the two assailants to get their side of the story? I am certain that economic anxiety led to his and she can paint them as the true victims in this story. Yes people this is what happens when you allow white victimization to become normalized. Find these two and drop them in…

Wouldn’t you want the ones from Jurassic World? I mean, Chris Pratt got them to work together. Imagine what Popovich could do.

“prefers Ball to be moved to a third team that doesn’t have an established point guard.”  But then that team still won’t have an established point guard, so what’s the point? ( I crack myself up)

Lowry hanging fruit. Let’s call it a tie.