What color is it?

Any way to rig them all in the same direction so I can use it to parallel park it? 

This ... is real? THIS IS REAL. 

Cross-post this with Jalopnik because I bet these would make ballin’ driving shoes. 

“We don’t really understand why he left.” Bullshit. He’s been down this road before, not just in general, but literally with Gross herself. He knows what’s coming. They give him the cue the clip is coming. He removes his headset. It plays. They cue him back on. He gets asked why he doesn’t like hearing himself. They’v…

As someone with a new Hyundai: what?

What’s this lady have left to do to prove she’s a “Real Jalop”? 

My pelvis widened to birth this corgi, god damn it. 

Throw in about 3-4 more inches of legroom -- some way, somehow -- and I will put a deposit down tomorrow. 

I want to love this game so badly but the job progression just feels so clunky and the way the world partitions itself it just doesn’t really feel as “open” to me as some other games do. 

I’m one of those niche of people that would buy this new if available but there’s not enough of me (i.e. making terrible, depreciating automotive purchase decisions frequently) to justify it, I suppose. Also, what does a guy gotta do to get ungreyed around here, these days? 

fuck the purists, those are awesome

If your bank is costing you more money than they’re making you then you may want to consider either changing institutions or reevaluating your borrowing decisions.

Dammit, Jason, I didn’t need another reason to like you. 

Are there people actually out there going, “don’t buy an Escalade, you poor, get this Denali — people in the know will get it.” I can’t imagine a statistic I could care less about. 

I think they said, “nah.” 

Honest question: what do you want it to be made of? Plugs, lighter, cup holders -- places where things are rubbed against/scratched/spilled/stained -- what’s going to stay looking newer the longest, if not plastic? 

This is a hill I’ll probably die on (Miataless) but if they just somehow build one with like 3 or 4 more inches of legroom I will buy one tomorrow, electric or not. 

Did you pass? 

“PATRICK HATES PROGRESS” ... I just died again.