She was a magnificent creature back then. When life was filled with simple joys and TRL was considered fun to watch.

My department at work shares reception duties. When I started, I was doing several days a week of reception. When we hired a new gal for the team, the girl who had been hired before me was retired from reception duty, and the new girl got it. When we hired yet another new girl, I got to retire and then the two new…

How did Casey stay so calm with the frappuccino lady in SoCal is beyond me!?

I haven’t looked at the video (I’m getting the “See my swimming pool/Ferrari/California Closet garage” art of sales dude) but any chance Bill Murray could play “A French man”?

The book was commonly known as the Buggre Alle This Bible. The lengthy compositor’s error, if such it may be called, occurs in the book of Ezekiel, chapter 48, verse five:

And hey, that’s my birthday! Who wants to pony up and get me some sin-pass?

counterpoint:

My grandpa used to eat Limburger cheese. Grandma made him eat it on the porch, no way she was letting that shit stink up her kitchen.

Me too. This was wonderful. For the last 48 hours I’ve been dealing with one of those headaches that must be like what Phineas Gage felt with the iron spike went through his skull. Coincidentally, if anyone has ever tried the Dutch liquor Sonnema, the tasting experience is largely the same and probably not far away…

I feel like a lot of northern European (starting from Germany on up) cuisine grew out of ‘well, all the food went sour but its either eat this shit or starve, so dig in!'. Over time, they slowly mastered ways to make shit rot in a way that was distinctly delicious.

I have a Finnish grandfather who enjoyed eating a very specific, unsweetened variety of salty, strong licorice. I love black licorice, and I remember trying his ‘candy’ (term used loosely) and promptly spitting it out in the garbage. I guess it’s a cultural thing? He also loved pickled herrings and buttermilk (eew and…

I have often thought about the trauma that 911 operators deal with, especially in the wake of discussions of survivors of September 11th. What those dispatchers must have had to listen to... So much love and respect for them.

Has anyone informed the citizens of the UK that their prince has been replaced by a bearded lobster?

Don't forget to invite this bitch or you WILL regret it.

I took the hit at a wedding on purpose once. I escorted the tearful relative to her room and commiserated with her over all the imagined slights that had occurred.

Your sitch sounds a bit like mine. My advice—it’s YOUR day. Only invite people who make you happy. It’s just not worth it to have people there who don’t 100% have your best interests at heart. Neither sets of parents were at our handfasting. We took his mom out to dinner later, and I took great joy in telling my own…

This is all very James and the Giant Peach to me.

Ughhhhh... my mom did this to me. She made me (because let’s face it, it was basically HER wedding) invite the two toxic hags I like to call the “bad aunties”. The bad aunties are awful, spiteful women who delight in tearing other people down to make themselves feel better about their mediocre lives. They have been…

Who has time for this nonsense?! When presented with pizza I immediately stuff it in my face.

My favorite bus trip story (not grim at all): In college, my boyfriend and I were going to visit his parents in his hometown about three hours away. No cars at the time, so it’s the greyhound. We arrive late and are practically the last people on the bus. There aren’t any seats together. I find a spot next to an…