Business calls only. My job involves sending out tons of letters that the recipients invariably find very confusing. 99% of those people say “what the fuck is this shit?” then pick up the phone and call me. Because I do this all day, I can guide them through what is happening in usually less than five mins.

lol, I knew they were some kind of complicated oven. Had no idea they were even sold in America (oh god, unless you have to import them. It tells you a lot about someone, if you find out they have a specially imported oven).

No, there has to be an Aga located in close proximity to the 62yo fridge to hit peak Britishness. I'm still not completely clear on what an Aga is, only that British cannot function without them.

...But I do have skin.

I also found the idea of putting somebody else’s pelt on a dog weird and off-putting, but I wear leather boots, so hey. No real difference, I guess.

Definitely, she had normal Lyme. The chronic part only comes into play with how long it took her to get rid of most of the symptoms.

The difference in her behavior and general personality before versus after that fucking tick bite was too stark to be ignored, really. Of course, we'd known each other all our lives, so it was easy for me to see that difference. Sadly, bosses/professors/doctors don't have that perspective and often prefer to assume…

Never heard of crippling joint pain as a symptom of depression.

Yeah, I believe because the behavior of the one person I’ve ever known who was diagnosed with chronic lyme made no sense otherwise. She was bitten before starting her sophomore year at college, super-high achiever, majoring in chemical engineering, always active and very responsible. She failed two classes that…

“Threeve... Some kind of bizarre combination of three and five..."

CDC reports 8,257 heroin-related deaths in 2013 (most recent year I could find a hard number for) vs 33,636 gun-related deaths that year.

As opposed to, you know, the need for much stricter gun control to prevent mass shooters from having access to the tools they need to do shit like this in the first place...

Can't believe family reunions are losing to Seeing Someone Naked For The First Time. I mean, yes, it's inevitable, but if it's depressing, you're doing it wrong.

Haven't had it since college, but I would say the trouble isn't really centered on the tummy. Go farther south.

I think Trump is the GOP's Taco Bell. He seemed like such a great, hilarious idea when they were high last June, but now it's morning and their digestive system is threatening to revolt.

insufficient cannibalism for bath salts :/

Mirrors are the worst when you're tripping.

I think it must have been. That is not LSD behavior. Even on a bad trip, violence isn't really how anyone reacts. Hiding under sheets and whimpering is usually how that goes. Unless this guy just has incredibly bizarre brain chemistry, there was something in that hit other than LSD.

I definitely saw them as crochet spider-man masks

Indoor crawfish boil? The carpeting would really enhance the experience of that messy activity :)