BP pitcher, fuck ruining your knees without making tens or hundreds of millions of dollars over your career.

And they can pull in the Annies, too! A pal and I were waiting out a rain delay in the Cell’s bleachers. We entertained ourselves by watching a couple of Detroit’s “finest” jersey-chasers throw themselves at the Tigers’ bullpen catcher. While I was shouting my praise/admiration for such an accomplishment with nary a…

Right? How am I supposed to explain that to my kid??

Of course he doesn’t. Two hydrogen atoms should never do anything with an oxygen atom. Totally unnatural. Atoms and Eves, not water!11!

Fuck you Kinja.

“I don’t even like the water.”

HE KNOWS EVERYTHING!

He’s been dead for like, a day and a half too. But I don’t care. MY BOY LIVES.

A good cover is a good cover is a good cover. This is a damn good cover.

The girlfriend isn’t named?

But the spear through the face was all good?

“Gotta be the shoes”

Or, you know, this wasn’t about Jay and it was about her father, her mother and other women in her life who have had these experiences, fears or whatever.

Maybe because he didn’t make smug little “subtle” references to it on social media? Not saying he should get off unscathed, but I get a feeling (if she really is ms. goodhair) she thinks she’s slick and/or cute.

You can repent by doing a thousand squats.

STOP CALLING ME BUDDY, TEX.

Rex’s one-footed, game-tying 3 against the Sonics is one of the great shots in NBA playoff history.

There are 69 calories in a “vodka Diet Coke.”

You son of a bitch. You show Cletus the respect he deserves, dammit!