BP pitcher, fuck ruining your knees without making tens or hundreds of millions of dollars over your career.

And they can pull in the Annies, too! A pal and I were waiting out a rain delay in the Cell’s bleachers. We entertained ourselves by watching a couple of Detroit’s “finest” jersey-chasers throw themselves at the Tigers’ bullpen catcher. While I was shouting my praise/admiration for such an accomplishment with nary a…

Right? How am I supposed to explain that to my kid??

Of course he doesn’t. Two hydrogen atoms should never do anything with an oxygen atom. Totally unnatural. Atoms and Eves, not water!11!

Fuck you Kinja.

“I don’t even like the water.”

A good cover is a good cover is a good cover. This is a damn good cover.

The girlfriend isn’t named?

“Gotta be the shoes”

Or, you know, this wasn’t about Jay and it was about her father, her mother and other women in her life who have had these experiences, fears or whatever.

Maybe because he didn’t make smug little “subtle” references to it on social media? Not saying he should get off unscathed, but I get a feeling (if she really is ms. goodhair) she thinks she’s slick and/or cute.

You can repent by doing a thousand squats.

STOP CALLING ME BUDDY, TEX.

Rex’s one-footed, game-tying 3 against the Sonics is one of the great shots in NBA playoff history.

There are 69 calories in a “vodka Diet Coke.”

You son of a bitch. You show Cletus the respect he deserves, dammit!

I'll go wherever Cletus leads us, be it World Cup glory or a Bud Light keg.

If you put a random Christian on the stand, and grilled them about the tenets of their faith, you can guarantee they would crumble too. People don’t have to know every aspect of their religion to have it protected... hell, you don’t even have to believe. If I claim to be Christian, and can recite the bible, that…

if they can accomodate Christianity, they should accomodate Pastafarian faith