Neverest

WHY ISN’T YOUR HAND OVER YOUR HEART? DON’T YOU KNOW PEOPLE DIED FOR YOU TO BE ABLE TO COMPETE IN THE OLYMPICS? WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA SO MUCH? IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT HERE YOU SHOULD JUST LEAVE!!!111 AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH

I like his style, here is me winning a gold in Rio.

Katmandidn’t

This will also be my face when Finebaum is suspended from his show for a week, and his listeners go on Twitter to complain about his First Amendment rights being violated by big government...

So Fix gets out, slides on his sunglasses, and proceeds to bark at Herbert?

That was the most dangerous move possible, especially at a blind corner. He should have followed the marshal’s point instead of taking off on his own. And before anyone else asks, yes, I am a corner marshal, and yes I have discussed it with some of the workers who were at the race.

Some kind of bobby pin. When he has problems in the US, he just wears that dumb hat. He should have had a gigantic sombrero embroidered last night, what a dumb ass.

¡Muy Am-bien!

Remember, people are bastard coated bastards with bastard filling.

Not sure it’s “extraordinary” as much as “touching” when reading the mother’s words.

I’m crying on the toilet, and I didn’t even have Chipotle yesterday.

I don’t think this necessarily offers hope for humanity, but I wouldn’t say it’s just basic decency for a guy who went to the school expecting to be fawned over by excited kids to instead sit down with a lonely, awkward boy who probably didn’t even know who he was.

Can’t

My favorite response was left out:

“You guys are heroes”

“They only showed him kill that guy on replay” is my favorite comeback of all time now. Find that hill and die on it, buddy.

That anthem and flag represent important and sacred freedoms that people died protecting! How dare you attempt to put them into action!

His appeal to African-American voters in recent weeks: THINGS ARE TERRIBLE! IF YOU WALK DOWN ANY STREET YOU’LL GET SHOT 25 TIMES! VOTE FOR ME BECAUSE IT CAN’T POSSIBLY GET WORSE!

Two black kids? Kids?? Did you miss the part where one is 22 and the other is 26? The part where they had both previously been in jail before after being out 14 days and deciding to shoot someone? But yes. WE are propagating stereotypes by having mug shots in news stories.