So many important things to ask... but I'm going to go ahead and start with speeding traps. Seriously? How is it safe having a cop parked on the shoulder, standing outside his car, shooting radar at drivers? Who's he "protecting or serving? How is this even legal?

No, just, would you please take a seat.

Worst fans, Boston or Philly?

Well, in these people's defense, contributing to [enter conservatives name here]'s presidential campaign is pretty much the same thing.

She fights the same way I do after a couple of Smirnoffs at the local book club.

That's how I feel every time Deadspin cross posts from Valley Swag.

I see NASCAR has finally released the video from Ward's GoPro.

When you take your girl out for Chipotle and you make it back to your apartment without shitting yourself.

Joey Chestnut disapproves of this chart.

Sure, swimming is a sport, but what's up with all of the strokes? Maybe we should integrate that into track and find out who can run backwards the fastest.

This reminds me of when I put my pants on every morning.

As a Rangers fan I want to say:

Best art work ever?

"I don't think that was just a fart."

You added "almost," on accident.

Oh buck it, you guys are assholes anyways.

Sure, most of my jokes are shit, but hoof'd known if I didn't make them.

Awful pun? Absolutely, but don't act like it wasn't endearing.

Byers, a Greco-Roman wrestler on the national team, was apparently bow hunting in Colorado Springs when his prey brought him to a pretty public spot: the parking lot of a local Lexus dealership.

Yeah but dat ass doe...