An Incomplete List Of Things That Will Make Me, A Guy, Want To Fuck:

Isn’t getting a guy to fuck on a third date not this difficult?

A pretty good way to get a dude to fuck u is to be like “Yo dude, you wanna fuck or what?”

I recently started started dating someone [holds for applause] *thank you thank you* whose ex was a gun enthusiast. She told me that he got his permit while they were dating, and shortly thereafter began carrying a concealed handgun on him at all times. He would have it with him on dates, bring it with him to dinner,…

Would pay to see Al Franken play Trump in a faux debate with Hillary.

I’ve got PCOS and have struggled with excess testosterone too but actually don’t find this that ridiculous. It’s obvious to me that when I’ve had higher levels of excess testosterone I have also experienced surges in strength. I remember doing one of those strength test things with a friend who is almost exactly the…

I have PCOS and, thus, higher androgen levels than the average woman.

Taking Caster out doesn’t get you a medal, but thanks for being a sore loser, Lynz.

I’m so tired of hearing about Trump.

I wish I had known she was competing today because I would have watched. I saw this video at the start of the Olympics and thought she was awesome.

Rock on, Sarah. You are phenomenal.

And congrats to Wever who made history for her country, did a flawless routine and was a joy to see win even if it came as a disappointment to see Simone lose.
Also major points to Simone for being a badass and nailing the rest of her routine and then going on to support Laurie and cheer her on like a champ. When both…

I hope you’re right — she’s so good and such a pleasure to watch on beam and floor.

She’s still superhuman. When I fall off the beam, I don’t get any Olympic medals. I just get a concussion, 2 weeks off work, and a stern warning not to get too drunk around park benches.

Ugh I REALLY wanted Hernandez to win gold.

My conclusion from this is that men masturbate more gently today than they did 30 years ago. My hypothesis is that the ready availability of porn makes it easier for men to get off.

Because the mosquitoes were all like “dayum!”