Okay, so this is massively stupid. An actor’s job is, quite by definition, to portray someone/thing they’re not. Should Dustin Hoffman not have been cast in Rain Man? Was Daniel Day-Lewis the wrong choice for My Left Foot because he doesn’t actually have CP? I don’t think these films are any less effective or…

They’re oddly committed to a lot of things.

I have this incredible adoration for Michael J. Fox. When I was in my teens and early 20's, I fell in love with his performance in you-know-which-movies, so much that I actually used to love his barely-passable comedies like Secret of My Success and For Love or Money (hell, I still love The Frighteners, but it’s…

“I can’t have this character be black! They’re supposed to be rich!”

...Uh, bro, think about what you just said... 

a lycanthropic Irish girl plagued by Catholic guilt

If becoming furious at a ref’s blown call is what triggers latent mutant powers, we should have roughly 1 billion X-Men by now.

Every Week is Werner Herzog Week.

I must say that the “let’s go over apologies with a fine toothed comb to decide if its sincere” stage of outrage cycles is almost certainly the most annoying part of the ritual. Like, it probably shouldn’t be that surprising to anyone that apologies that are in response to angry social media campaigns are not “sincere.…

The English are so weak. 95 degrees temps are nothing. Certainly not hot enough to dissuade you from deep frying. It’s the summer. That’s whne you fry food. 

To spoil the Mad Magazine parody, I seem to recall the joke was that the Big Con was so insanely elaborate with so many elements and players that when they had finally paid everyone their share, they went broke.

So you’re saying 85% of the population wasn’t born on January 1st?

Oh yes, nothing screams attention like getting comments on a dying web site.

I had another AV clubber call me a cunt a few weeks ago. Actually, she called me a “pedantic cunt.” I forgave her, though. She was on the rag at the time and when she’s not, she generally hates everyone equally.

Amber Heard also pooped in my bed 

What if...and believe me, this is a big what if...both Depp and Heard are abusive, disgusting garbage people?

Probably didn’t help that Depp was doing a bad English accent throughout the proceedings.

I was wondering when someone would mention Ligotti

I’ve run into Campbell on the horrorlit subreddit a couple times. I always get a little starstruck.

A View to a Kill actually was my first Bond. I learned pretty quick though.