Fun fact: “The Touching is, To Me, Off Limits,” was the original title of MC Hammer’s 1990 breakthrough single. 

I can barely see them with all their green camouflage against those grey fucking rocks.

The Root’s experts believe that her cousins are probably going to fuck him up.

This is the dumbest take possible.  You should be ashamed.

Gregg was blindsided by the news.

Holy shit, if you can’t trust football coaches & Catholic priests these days who can you trust?

Yeah, I was married once too...

Imagine Your Boss Is Michael Jordan, And Imagine He’s Angry Enough To Hit You

Every Celtics fan’s dream: an all-black team that are actually really white guys.

Obviously, the racist costume in the top picture is going to get all the attention. But still, Dave Portnoy does deserve some credit for somehow showing up to a Halloween party as both Craig Sager and Ted Cruz.

Today’s public service announcement: If you are in a moving vehicle and there is a seatbelt, please use it.

“Access journalism” only enforces the status quo. That makes it propaganda. The opposite of journalism.

“Ponder this...what great marriages have is sexual variety! Period! It’s not the equal burden-sharing at home trend, it’s not the fidelity trend. Find someone that is going to let me have unprotected, random sex! Period! #monogamysucks!”

“My fiancée has informed me that sheez letting me go. #thankstwitter!”

Yes, Chris. We all know that guy. But looking objectively, the guy is a marginal NFL quarterback under the best circumstances. Yeah, sure, he had some success and even pulled off some heroics in the playoffs, when it counts the most. But he comes with so much baggage - the kneeling, the outsized media attention, the…

It probably helps that you’re not in a relationship with Reuben Foster.

Charlotte will help you get your steps in for the day.  

taking into account things like the airport’s on-time statistics as well as things like the number of restaurants available to the number of passengers and how much it take an Uber to get there from a central location nearby.

If we just let Nancy Fucking Pelosi be comfortable none of this shit will happen. I’m writing her ass letters & emails & calling as often as I can to make her get this shit done. None of this bipartisan friendship shit she is selling will make me happy, especially bcause i didn’t vote for her. Either she does what we…

I completely agree with this sentiment.

YOUR MOM'S A DISNEY FILM PERHAPS