That’s sick. I LOLed.

Kill the 1%.

My dad really enjoyed the original Mad Max films, but I never much got into them, and so I never really shared that experience with him before he passed away. Needless to say, I wasn’t particularly interested in this film, either. Now, however, having read all that the internet has to say about it, Fury Road sounds…

I replayed Dragon Age II just to romance Isabela.

Yes, grown-ass ladies and gentlemen of the Jezebel Commentariat, Bill Nye - like the vast majority of his species! - is a sexual being. Deal.

If anything, this is ample evidence of why this bizarrely obsessive fuckstick should not be allowed within one hundred yards of a child, much less raise one.

...of course, there is the minor fact that Appolyon is an ripoff of the Takara Tomy/Hasbro designed and owned character, but let’s just watch the “journalist” completely gloss over that, shall we...?

...so...Dudicus here makes money by riding the coattails of actual “creatives,” then gets all huffy at the suggestion he should maybe share some of that plunder with the content owner? And he bases this hissy fit on the notion he has maybe somehow contributed to Nintendo’s sales? That...that’s just adorable.

He's a man of average physical stature whose body type is best described as "slouched." Like many men, he has somehow come under the impression that a suit jackets, thanks to their padded shoulders and tailoring, will give him a larger and more powerful silhouette - particularly if he goes a size or two up.…

...Corey Haim is dead...?

I would respond, but y'know, typing is a girl thing. Instead, I just fitfully mashed my useless manbeast paws on the keyboard, belched angrily, then shuffled off to the ratty, bare mattress in the corner of the basement that I hilariously refer to as my "bed."*

...actually...this is pretty cool. And I think Momoa will do a great job. I was just sure they wouldn't let him have the long hair, so that was a surprise.

I just got Green Giant a month ago, and didn't think I could love it more...until I saw this...thing...Hasbro is hawking.

OK, fine, but at least stop having more kids, FFS.

Sorry, all I read was "I chose to pursue a career in an industry that is widely known to be unstable and OMG I got laid off a bunch of times, woe is me!"

Hard to stuff yourself with mashed potatoes and then go bone in your childhood bedroom.

#firstworldproblems

Finally, some accountability in gaming journalism!

Just don't bother with Legends of War: Pat Robertson. That was a snoozefest!

Back in 2000, I had an absolute shit job, a roommate who had skipped town leaving me with all the bills, and an absolute love for the Legacy of Kain series. I barely ate for a week so that I could buy the BBI Kain action figure, and I still have that action figure proudly displayed in my living room. I have no…