Aniston is living the dream. no whiny husband, goddess circle on fridays, Cabo with comedy writers 3x a year, and brad pitt texts sometimes to wish you well. 5 stars

I’d love to know how she, Kate, and all of the other stiletto-wearing royals walk on cobblestones without killing themselves. Serious skill right there.

why are yall so obsessed with him

Please correct me if I’m wrong, but Biden doesn’t get off on killing animals, especially endangered ones. For that alone, he’s worlds better than Jr.

The Jezebel staff chose to make NOT seeing Davidson the top story in the dirt bag. The tone is also mean spirited for no particular reason. Davidson is not the problem, it’s sites like Jezebel talking about him constantly, even when he’s literally not doing anything.
I know this comment has an aggressive tone, but it’s…

Yep. I am appalled every time I watch an American real estate show and people walk through a house (someone else’s house, still--in their outside shoes) and make derogatory comments about the dirty carpets. And I think: well, that’s what happens when people WEAR THEIR FUCKING SHOES IN THE HOUSE.

We don’t do shoes in the house, and I’ve got to say, the best part of the no shoes in the house rule is never having to search for your kid’s shoes under a bed or behind the sofa, because they’re always right by the front door.

You can add Ireland to that list, shoes in the bedroom even! Unfortunately, studies show that 90 odd percent of shoe soles have faecal matter on them, and iirc 40% have E Coli, they are basically toilet seats when it comes to germs. I don't like those odds! 

As a Canadian it boggles my mind that anyone would wear shoes in their house. Is this strictly an American thing? How often do you have to clean your floors? Why do you wear shoes in the house? I have so many questions...

But don’t socks serve basically the same purpose as house shoes? They keep your feet warm and prevent your bare feet from dirtying the floor. Seems like adding shoes on top of that is unnecessary.

You Americans are weird.

an even funnier way of saying bare feet

“a pair of house shoes”
That’s a funny way of saying “socks”

Today is my 25th birthday...

Pssst.  Joan.  Somebody posted your diary entry from today on the internet.  They also tried to pass it off as an article...but I wasn’t fooled and I thought you should know.  

But isn’t that the problem? He kept putting it in the wrong box.

I always think it’s sad when musicians get trapped in label deals, but was there a specific reason she wanted to renegotiate other than “I got famous faster than I thought I would and want a bigger slice of the pie faster than what’s stipulated in my contract”? Because ... I still feel for Meg, but why would a label…

I’m into anything that brings Piers Morgan’s head closer to exploding.

I think its pretty disgusting how they've chosen to cover this story overall but especially since the audio tapes came out. The sad thing is is its not even unexpected. 

The sponcon could have been way less weird if she only used the caption “YOU try looking sexy while your house smells like baby vomit. Febreze: get your horny on, save your gag reflex for the good shit.”