You're flush with pun-sibilities.

Al and Ferlin come from the Berenstein timeline, in which Bret was a singular Michael.

Dick Wolf sold the Chicago Meter Maids rights to Abu Dhabi.

Seinfeld, why did you let Bannon win syndication rights?

Set TiVo to "if you even so much as recommend this shit to me then so help me God I'm getting inside of you with pliers and a blowtorch"

Straightforward from olden days:
1. When you someone eat it
2. How much fuck
3. DURING!
4. President Dawes

I was gonna say "no one's leaked that tape yet" but someone like him would put that sort of thing on their resume cover letter.

Please never fix your typo.

I am saying that if school was a metaphor for being a human William Maher would get a grade of D+ whereas Milo Hanrahan would not have attended class but instead would have been defecating in a urinal and would be so angry at almost getting caught doing this that he would call in a bomb threat to the school which…

Maher is a D+ of a human being, whereas Milo called in a bomb threat to the school because he was almost caught defecating in the urinal.

But enough about Trent Lott!

Oh, I am never going back to TurboTax no matter how many email discount codes they send. Anything outside the basic forms is an add-on AND has a much shittier interface, requiring a bunch of do-overs.

Remember back when the GOP would get these batshit "conservative but what does that word even mean anymore" guys polling around 20% for like a week and then drop them like a bad habit?

I just read your post 5 times and I'm still not sure what you're asking me.

I wasn't going for the whole brevity thing

Senator Rock's ACA Replacement Allows For Extra "Sentimental Hygiene" Coverage

Senator Rock Introduces Education Reform Bill That Would Give Each Student One Free Bird

Yeah, but Jones was a Dem back when the South still had a few stragglers that didn't switch over RIGHT after civil rights reform.

They get so few quality celebrities that any time they get a C-lister, they immediately put them in office.

Yep, with the pants on kinda buggy if I'm clean enough to risk that.