This is what I thought, too. Not many people are willing to emigrate to another country for love’s sake. If she’s in her early thirties already, knows she wants to marry and have children, and is 100% sure she wants to live near her Canadian family and friends while she does that, I would advise her to move back home…

Right?! On the maternity leave. When she mentioned the two and the “three month standard in the US” I was like hahahahha sure. Maybe. As long as you know that’s UNPAID.

I’d be surprised at this point if at least one Jane letter per week didn’t get an absolutely absurd reply. The response to #2 is so much like last week’s dogshit advice to the woman whose partner didn’t want to talk about the future (Jane says: live in the now! Stop pestering him!). NO. DO NOT CONTINUE in this…

Yeah, it matters a lot where you want to live and where you can work. This sounds like a deal-breaker to me. Waiting until you get engaged won’t make the issue go away. The pain of breaking up only gets worse. Also, this woman is in her 30s, but she’s supposed to wait around for years (because, heck, she could die…

I’m going to seriously disagree with the advice for letter writer #2. At the very least, you need to tell your guy now that you have this dealbreaker, because he may have the OPPOSITE dealbreaker in which case it’s better to sever things now rather than later. I don’t think it says anything horrific about him if he’s…

Dear letter writer 2,

If she’s a fan of gansta rap and gansta rappers, is there a way that she can become a part of that culture if she was born into another one and in another place? I think it seems possible but only if she doesn’t use it as Halloween, but if it is a day-in day-out kind of world for her.

This was a fantastic piece Clover. Really well done.

What I find amazing is that she had folks falling over her left and right trying to make her a pop star a la “a Fergie, Gwen Stefani or Britney Spears”, and she *still* insisted on trying to rap - trying to use a style that demands a cultural connection she did not appreciate and did not bother with. Christ, *ICP* is…

All through this article producers and directors are trying to get her to go pop instead of hip-hop, and when she finally does try to do hip-hop everyone holds it against her that she is white.

This is amazing — thoroughly researched, relentlessly argued and really compellingly written. Thank you for making my morning with it!

As a 5th generation native Californian, I reject your “overly polite social anxiety bullshit” description. We’re a polite, friendly people. What’s not to like?

We don’t miss you