Matt gaetz has covid too. I hope he fucking dies with his unrequited love for nestor remaining unrequited after grooming him for so long.

Someone mentioned he only needs the ball bearings and a rant about strawberries to complete his transition to Captain Queeg. 

Great story. Needs more fire ants!

True, the “dark side of the moon” doesn’t exist, but if this is looking for water it may be going into craters that are in permanent shadow, which would technically be dark parts of the moon.

Florida resident here. After our many, many embarrassments over the past twenty years, I’m hoping that we do the right thing today and kick 45 out. 

God I can't wait for that sentient impacted colon Thomas to die horribly.

This is the song I’d have gone with:

Uh-oh, looks like someone dared to ask Waddles a question. He hates questions and doesn’t “do” them. He prefers to freestyle and riff, about everything from dishwashers to “his emails”. Real questions are just too stressful and boring for Lard Belly and besides, who do these reporters think they are, asking the Great…

...one of many reasons it's important for Republican senators to become the minority. And for Republican representatives to remain so.

I have no use for one but I love the styling.  I’d much rather have retro or retrofuture than the current trend of soap bars with a bunch of razor blades embedded in them.

Embarrassed by having to play catch-up, and still having an inadequate candygram delivery infrastructure, by 1961 the Soviets had developed the 50 megayum Tsar Bonbon. (And that figure was without the planned hazelnut chocolate enrobement. It was also originally reported as and long believed to be 58 megayums, but in…

There was actually an offshoot of the Manhattan Project that was tasked with developing a candy bar powerful enough to overshadow all other candy bombings combined. It was called the 5th Avenue Project. On the project’s completion, famed chocolatier Robert Cocoanheimer quoted Vishnu, saying “I did what I did and I…

The mispronunciation defence doesn’t work if you triple the number of syllables.  That’s just deliberate insult.  And Kamala isn’t even a complicated name. Certainly less difficult than a name like Beauregard, or Kavanaugh, or McEnema.

The correct way is to:

Ah Borland. I'll always have a soft spot in my heart for their Turbo Pascal and Turbo C IDEs.

When you are starting a sentence you have to capitalize the 7.  This is basic grammar.

Why don’t they just lie?

It’s not just tenured white professors that get to commit fraud and create a toxic atmosphere. It’s most white men (and women) in vaulted positions that get numerous re-do’s. Hell, look at our government. 200K+ dead, children in cages, cops getting away with murder, and no one’s holding them accountable. But, the…

Because people in those types of positions get put on a pedestal and deemed too important to replace because it requires some level of effort to get a new person there, especially if they have some kind of contract/tenure that will make it expensive to fire them after they lawyer up. People at fast food and retail are…

I sincerely hope he fucking dies, and the sooner the better.