Gold looks pretty but has no taste at all. Lead, on the other hand, is sweet and delicious!

Bill Barr. Come on, li’l virus. You can do this.

Ain’t no way they’re going to leave an open trench like that, they’d get their asses sued off. Have they at least got a safety tape barrier around it until they can fill it back in?

Sure, here and here.

Available for free as either ASCII text or HTML from Project Gutenberg, so you can copy it to any device you own.

Exactly. Pathological, compulsive lying.

Arrest his father for destruction of evidence, to which he has already confessed.

My feelings regarding Trump allegedly being diagnosed with COVID-19 are the same, neither more nor less, as his feelings about the possibility of me coming down with COVID-19. It would be different if he simply didn’t give a shit whether I live or die. I mean, who am I? basically another nobody. The difference is,…

Is that really a Qanon thing? I don’t keep up with their latest crazes, but it does have the special hallmark of Qanon theories, which is that it includes details that are flagrantly absurd with a kind of Russian-accented contempt, as if to say “Here’s something so imbecilic that only one of those subhuman Americans…

I’m not even sure it’s true. I’m not trying to construct an alternative theory and claim that that is the case instead, but consider the source. On occasions when the Trump White House has issued any declaration of “fact,” how often has it turned out to be a complete fabrication?

it might have been...

The other day I was South-bound on US19 pulling into the left turn lane onto Gandyu Boulevard when I saw the turn lane was blocked. There are three through-lanes so it took a little while to go around, but then since I was going to have to wait for the light anyway, I got out and ask the stopped car’s driver if she…

The other day I was South-bound on US19 pulling into the left turn lane onto Gandyu Boulevard when I saw the turn lan…

• Well, Kamala, what’d ya think of that?

Just wondering, why does anybody ever make interference engines? Maybe there’s some advantage for a race car engine, but in real life, why?

There’s still time for the Trump administration to pull Amy Barrett’s nomination for the Supreme Court and nominate this guy instead.

A few decades back before they discontinued them, I used to like McDonald’s garden salad and chef’s salad. If there were a fast-food place that offered a cheap simple salad I’d go there all the time.

Vitamins are so expensive, too. I spend at least seven cents a day on the two vitamin pills that I swallow with my first cup of coffee every morning. Also consider also the ten seconds I waste daily with this useless, pernicious superstition.

Listen, you guys, you may laugh, but those God damn Chicken McNuggets are dangerous. The last time I bought some, I was trying to put one in my mouth but I accidentally shoved it in my eye instead. The BBQ sauce burned my eyeball and half my face was all swole up for a week. Beware, fastfood fans, don’t let this…

Norwegians.

Your head falls off and the boil grows a beard.