"it's her fault for provoking me"

-Stephen A. Smith

"If I could just get my hands on @MichelleDBeadle right now, I'd demonstrate EXACTLY what I was trying to say!"

Aaron: [watches body tumble to the ground]

Pretty sweet. Can I get one with darker tint and sound proofing?

You're being way too generous by assuming free will. Honestly, just read through the entire ITUC report. A lot of the workers who arrive in Qatar do so expecting to get good jobs and live in nice places, because that's what the recruiters tell them will be there, only to get their passports seized before getting…

Brewed in Chicago. (I'll just say it the once and trust you'll reread as necessary.)

If he isn't drafted, chalk it up to the NFL's non-prophet status.

Making the first mass produced home computer, making the first commercial computer with a GUI, buying and developing Pixar, revolutionizing the music industry, revolutionizing the cell phone industry...nope no Genius here...just a boss with a couple of cool products...

Is that Area 51 between New Mexiso and Colorado?

::reading this while drinking Sierra Nevada Torpedo::

Look, just because Marchman did it, we don't need every writer posting their awful breakfast rankings.

[music is blaring]

Cry 'havoc!' and let loose the votes for beard! A vote on me, 'tis anarchy. My specs, peculiar gear.

Cereals, Ranked APPROPRIATELY

“Who’s Bill and who gives a shit if he’s anti-gay? If anyone is going to keep Arizona from the Super Bowl, it’ll be me.”

I believe the colloquial term for the procedure in the baseball world is "Tornmy Dong" surgery.

.

It's always a winning move whenever I play Cards Players Against Humanity.

You know, Hendrix's version of the anthem was highly criticized for being "different" and it eventually went on to become a classic. I guess what I'm saying is, if we give these guys enough time maybe they'll all O.D.

"Fuckin' beautiful."