My thoughts, exactly

(slaps your mouth)

This is comedy gold.

GO AWAY. 'BAITIN.'

4/9, isn't it? It both won and lost that last category in which it was twice nominated.

I still can't believe I put fifty bucks on his reaching the third stage on American Ninja Warrior.

"I want these MOTHERFUCKIN' SCORES on this MOTHERFUCKIN' SHOW!"

Not sure how to tell you this…

I get the feeling you've had that one hip-pocketed all night, but I still approve.

The producers' truck has a standing order not to cut to her after she flipped off three of the tourists walking past her seat.

I'm not crazy about the non-stop disrespect toward the "lesser" films and categories. I get irreverence, but they're hitting the "no one watched this film or cares about this category" button awfully hard.

I found the pacing flaccid.

I wish there was wider availability. The Alamo Drafthouse does a neat thing where you buy one ticket and see each nominee in the short film categories. I don't make it out to that often enough.

I would imagine it's a bowl of conflicting emotion, having your life's highlight come from something so somber and grave.

Snark aside, my only issue with the tourist bit was the lack of traffic control. The two best personalities happened to be front-loaded in the group, which left a long tail as folks in the rear got held up chatting with what appeared to be a supernaturally accommodating Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban. The bit would've…

Have you seen Lion? I'm straight and I STILL kinda want to fuck him. I'm pretty sure his first name is short for Devinitelygonnahitthat.

They're on Star Tours, so probably nothing.

Unlike Gael himself, who remains just a shade over five feet.

True to form, this Sting song seems like it's going to reach a crescendo several times but manages to never quite get there.

Where's Lon Chaney?