I used to be a pitcher, then I took a line drive to the knee. And another one to the wrist.

“Who are you?”

Marvel Presents Corridor Fight: The Series

Uh, Chicago, dafuq you doing?

(unintelligible screaming)

You mean the best van ever?

Title reminds me of the side of a van that would have Thor painted on the side and Led Zeppelin blasting from the radio.

He’s a friend from work!

I have long dreamed of hearing this epic song tied to some big bad Thor visuals!  

Really digging the trailer. Didn’t expect the “Yes”!

Ah, now eventually you DO plan to have Ragnarok in your, in your Ragnarok movie, right? Hello?

Let me tell you about my mother.

*shoots guest*

you know that was the one scheduled to be pardoned later this year....

He’s self-branded. He labeled himself as a “policy wonk” and by sheer repetition, people believed it over time. It’s the old “if you tell a lie often enough and keep repeating it, people start to believe it” deal.  

He must think he is an NCAA men’s basketball coach.

And on Fox News:

YES DAMMIT

That’s the Portuguese housemaid that Colin “OhGodYesIStillWould” Firth problematically fell in love with despite not knowing a word of her language because she jumped into a lake wearing only a bra.