Gods.

Last time I went to a place that said FREE BEER there was this frog on the stage that didn’t do anything.

Lemme just tell you from experience: If you’re gonna do something thinking it’s something Mr. Coates does, just email FIRST and make sure it’s a solid thing to do before going and doing it.

of course the German Shepherd would go crazy chasing after baseballs.

and half the turnout in the stands. about 2,500 guys just curled up into fetal positions moaning in sympathy...

I blame Deadpool. He made teabagging too glamorous.

Not heard were two high-pitched screams that could only be detected by dogs.

Dear NFL Owners:
The second you agree to be trump’s bitch, you will ALWAYS be trump’s bitch.
(this is sort of a variation of the Danegeld quote)

this movie was terrible.

Gotta say it with 100 percent certainty, this evening’s Around the Horn and Pardon the Interruption are going to be EPIC meltdowns over this.

JR Smith thought this was football and was playing to the overtime.

If LeBron wins this - not the Cavs, because the team is just ballast at this point - first thing he’ll say after grabbing the trophy is “f-ck all y’all” and bolt for the nearest door for Houston or LA.

If the Cavs lose this - because let’s be honest LeBron is doing everything humanly possible to win - he’s still out…

She dyes her hair, creates a fake ID complete with new “family”, gets a doctor’s degree, goes to work for the FBI, and ends up in the basement with this spooky guy investigating aliens and weekly monsters.

...what? We can’t tie this in to the Westphall Universe???

but then, they might be acting that they were beaten.

Dear Argentinian football players:

here’s a simpler solution:

As a Tampa Bay homeboy, I am feeling slightly ill at how the Bolts have given up so many goals and failing to score their own.

not exactly funny.

he’s been warned before.

that is some sad second grade sh-t there.