“...many of Coates’ fans laced up their 5411s, smeared Vaseline on their faces and were ready to ride out...”

Okay, two things. 1) I don’t know what a 5411 is, and 2) I do not smear Vaseline on my face. I don’t know anybody who does. The hell?

thank God Obama is a Chicago fan then.

1. He better sell the team to a woman.

I saw this movie as a boy, around the time I was getting into Star Wars and science fiction spectacle.

“A Democrat winning a statewide election is as rare as a good Taylor Swift song. It doesn’t happen. Ever.”

No. Because the midterms are coming up and the Democrats need to WIN EVERY GODDAMN ELECTION TO ENSURE WE IMPEACH THE EVERLOVING HELL OUT OF THAT CORRUPT RUSSIAN-OWNED SH-TGIBBON.

TIE-Advanced. You had the angled panels that made it sleeker than the bulky-winged TIEs. It had shields. It had extra chrome panels so you could cruise down Gulf-To-Bay like a badass flirting with all the Florida girls.

I have no opinions on that one way or the other.

Oh cripes I hope they don’t trade him to Washington. He’ll hate it there.

We should make sure we’re moderating ourselves at the proper amounts of moderation. Just to be sure.

the pee tape will not bring down trump.

Hi. My name is Paul. I only had a glass of rum once before in my entire life, never drank any alcohol at all until this year. This year, I grabbed a six-pack of hard cider, Angry Orchard, and drank one bottle. I may drink another one tonight. God help me, I may upgrade to Redds before Christmas.

just as long as nobody lets him near the filing cabinets.

You know, when the Pee Tape finally comes out, it’s going to be such a letdown. More disgusting than debauched. Unless farm animals were included or something.

Jesus, Tom.

himself. he’ll claim to be the gold medal winner in every event.

National Anthem for OAR:

so he gets to play for Canada this time around, good for him.

am willing to bet Putin calls up trump and gets him to cancel every US Olympic training program to drop the US out of 2018. trump will excuse it by claiming the winter athletes aren’t being respectful of him and that he wants to punish North Korea over this. Never mind that the Olympics are being held in SOUTH Korea...

If a crazy lady in a blue box shows up claiming “I wondered where my seventh regeneration left that thing,” tell her to make a Lost-and-Found claim with the proper authorities and then run for the bomb shelters because the Sontarans are chasing after her.