I'm doing cognitive gymnastics to find a definition of "greatest" that would land this in the top ten....

I move that "-ampage" be added to the Jalopnik-approved list of ubiquitous automotive suffixes. Don't worry, "-amino" still comes first in alphabetical order.

Slow clap.

I would say, "why change perfection," but I guess they changed other things, so....

It's a long standing tradition. As is complaining about it.

One additional detail: Those Kias are the result of drunken hookups between other cars, including the resultant fetal alcohol syndrome.

The Shrike had a crazy short wheelbase/aspect ratio for a supercar.

Pretty sure that's a joke, dude.

Number one or bust.

Not a knock-off. They need a donor Land Cruiser to start.

My google image search skills must be impaired, because I can't find a copy of the poster that emphasizes this point...

If this doesn't make the list, I'll once again lose my faith in the integrity of the Jalopnik editorial board.

Every second you spend torturing the dude is a second you're not driving your Alfa. Take care of things quickly & mercifully, and get back behind the wheel.

Don't go thinking you can get a Model S and just use an aftermarket octopus for a "poor man's Model O," either. You'll save a few bucks up front, sure, but you won't get the waterproof trunk or sucker-resistant paint on the rear quarter panels.

Too bad she didn't live long enough to enter the "world's most stereotypical Lamorghini owner" competition. I'd much rather hate her than Team Salamone.

Idea #2 is more of a "Fiestlex" or "Flesta" isn't it?

How about a Miata on the track with the soft-top up? This is video game-only fantasy because every track in the civilized world requires a hard top or no top.

Your speculation seems a little off on the carrot-to-stick ratio. A bribe is more likely than a threat. We're talking about a customer who wrote a popular article, not a journalist who would rely on future free accessibility to Ferrari cars. He probably was offered a sizable discount in exchange for a gag order. Does…

Benefit of driving a manual: It applies pressures to your decision making, gradually moving your lifestyle into modes that avoid traffic.

A fine?