Dear Internet:

"Male nurse sentenced to two years in jail for raping woman's corpse."

"elderly Pony Express maven"

Ugh, this child. I taught in an all girls high school for two years and they LOVED this moron when I got there. I would make a joke when they'd show me a vine because teenagers hate to be told their taste is terrible, so I thought I'd lead by example. I'm so happy to say when I left that school there wasn't one girl…

Nothing at all, the sluts.

But were the goats wearing?

Well, we are getting there folks. Men are going to jail for raping goats & corpses, maybe soon they'll start going to jail for raping living human beings!

I think we've all known one or two Umbridges in our time. She's scary because she's so real.

Oh yeah. Umbridge was way scarier because you actually see people like her all the time. I think the 5th book is hardest for me to read because I just spend it all bubbling with rage over her.

Let's just all remember to take Rita Skeeter with a grain of salt. She is known for writing things that aren't necessarily true. Everyone is posting that Ron is balding now; when I read that, in my mind I imagined him constantly asking Hermione if it's true, while unconsciously touching his head. Also, there is NO WAY…

Umbridge was WAY scarier.

"The writer didn't intend to make light of the situation"

What in the ever-loving frakking hell?! This is my cue to turn off the iPad for the night.

This probably isn't helping ...

I never thought I would defend Victoria Beckham, but if I saw Samuel L. Jackson sitting next to me, I too would probably freeze and be all "Don't be a nerd, don't be a nerd, don't be a nerd." And then I would open my eyes, and he would be across the room talking to Quentin Tarrentino and I would see him gesture in my…

It shouldn't be. He doesn't deserve props for basic decency.

Music is art, and art is important and rare.

Cool.

Asking victims to forgive without punishing the offenders is just more abuse. This is a plea to be let off the hook, not a genuine attempt to heal.