I would have LOST MY SHIT at anyone who cut up my card without it being declined or anything. I’ve been given business credit cards before to wine/dine clients/donors, and I look about 16 (I’m 26 - I get carded ALL THE TIME and drinking age here is 18. Sigh) and no one has cared or noticed so long as the card goes…

> cork taint

Well, admittedly, the guy who told me the story (let’s call him BT) was an *ss to begin with, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he made it up.

I have a hardtime believing this if only because the guy couldn’t come up with a way to pay. There would be no end to the unholy hell I’d raise if some presumptive asshole cut up my credit card because they assumed I shouldn’t/couldn’t have one. I’d frog march them back to the register and make them enter the digits…

This is what working at Apple in a big mall is like. We knew to wear something over the blueshirt when we went to eat or on break in the mall, otherwise ughhh random question time.

Ruby Tuesdays or no, wine service is a mostly silly and antiquated ritual. Everyone who takes it too seriously should be mocked at all opportunities.

In my previous job at an amusement park, after I clocked out I still had to walk through guests for about 10 minutes or so to exit the park. If they asked me a simple question, I would answer it. If they were looking for something more and nice about it, I would apologetically explain that I’m clocked out but would…

I picture one of those bottles jetting around that idiot kid’s kitchen like a rogue compressed air canister in an action movie. And possibly chasing him around the house while Yakety Sax plays.

It's Louisiana. You ask them, "Did my momma and your momma go to school together?" And when they blink and say no, you stick them to the back of the line. If they blink and say yes or give some indication that they are local, you smile, tell them you'll tell your momma you saw them, and know it's an effective threat…

My personal headcanon about Tom Hanks being an elven lord of light and mercy refuses to recognize your completely possible second-hand anecdote.

New Orleans, especially the Quarter, is full of low-level celebrities who think they are soooooo awesome. There are also quite a few corrupt politicians as well as a crapton of organized crime there, so it could have been a lot of people. When I lived there, I had a friend who waited tables at one of the famous…

Colder but it gets the point across: “Should I?”

If “The platinum card is declined!” doesn’t become a Kitchenette meme like monogrammed thermoses, we have all failed.

I knew a guy like that. He always tried to one-up everything anyone else did too, a classic only-child.

The platinum card one is awesome, and totally reminds me of this former student at my husband’s school. He loved to brag about the places he’d gone out to dinner with his wife, and granted, these restaurants were higher caliber than Ruby Tuesday, but they weren’t like, private clubs or exclusive restaurants where…

Calling Taco Bell a Mexican restaurant is almost as insulting as that jackass at the drive through.

Wow that directly contradicts everything I’ve ever heard about him and yet, I believe it because fuck rich assholes they are always assholes to servers eventually.

Thank GOD you speak American! I’m sick of having those fucking Mexicans take my order

I think we’re all going to have to suggest who the New Orleans guy, in fact, was.